This is an inspirational book written by a truly remarkable person. When Wendy Mitchell, an NHS nurse, was told she had young-onset dementia in July 2014 at the age of 58, it was, as she puts it, a bummer of a diagnosis! Wendy, though, is a fighter, not a quitter and, far from succumbing to apathy and depression, she was determined to continue living her life to the full.
To give her the best chance of doing so, she embarked on extensive research and talked to hundreds of people to try and understand the impact that dementia can have on both body and mind. Having gained so much useful knowledge herself, Wendy’s aim in writing the book was to pass on what she had learned to others, particularly those wondering where to start after the initial shock of their diagnosis. As she says: “I hope this book will at least give people a start….. When people think of dementia, they immediately associate it with memory. Few people realise, for example, just how it changes our relationship with our senses, our emotions, our communication… “
The fact that some eight years after her initial diagnosis Wendy was able to research and write such an outstandingly helpful guide is evidence in itself that the onset of dementia need not mean a rapid and inevitable descent into mental decline and confusion. Far from it!
The book is written in an engaging conversational style and is eminently readable. It is packed with fascinating insights and practical advice about how people can reduce the extent to which they allow dementia to take over their lives. Recommended coping strategies include: fresh air and regular walks in the countryside, being willing to discuss one’s feelings about the challenges dementia brings, putting one’s thoughts down on paper as speech and conversation become more difficult – and many, many more.
Wendy also offers advice for family members and others involved in supporting those with dementia, starting with the need to apply your own oxygen mask before helping others, the value of taking time out to recharge your own batteries and the importance of developing your own inner reserve of patience.
The book also contains guidance for healthcare professionals working in the field of dementia, including: the need as part of a dementia diagnosis to offer patients hearing and sight tests, the merits of giving patients the time and space to discuss their feelings and, above all, the importance of meeting their patients regularly to assess their wellbeing and help them feel valued.
What Wendy emphasises most in the book is the importance of peer support, meeting new people and forming new friendships. Quoting a friend who is also living with dementia, she writes: “I know a lot of people feel intensely dark and lost and probably suicidal at times for the first few months after the diagnosis, and some never come out of that. But meeting other people and forming those new friendship groups, that is what makes life zing again. We are who we are; we’re not odd; we’re not written off.”
This is a remarkable book by a remarkable woman and as a reviewer in The Times put it: “Anyone who knows a person living with dementia should read this book.”
